Dear Missy's Tech Support
Last year, I upgraded from Boyfriend 7.0 to Husband 1.0. However, I've noticed a distinct slow down in the system particularly in the Gift Giving and Dinner Dates applications which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 7.0. I would also like to report that Husband 1.0 uninstalled some very valuable applications such as Quality Time 8.5 and Words of Affirmation 7.5, which I cherish so much. He instead installed some applications that take up a lot of his free time like NBA 10.9, particularly Giannis Antetokounmpo 10.9.1, and MMA 7.0, particularly Israel Adesanya 7.0.1.
Conversation 9.0 seems to have a virus because it has become one sided, with the occasional node-once-if-you-can-hear-me, in which I get a response after a not so gentle tap. And as if that's not enough, House Cleaning 2.5, particularly Taking Out The Trash 2.5.1, simply crashes the system.
Please note I have tried Nagging 5.5, Silent Treatment 7.0, and Denying Sex 1.1 to fix these problems, but I have had no success. The only option left is Break His Coconut Head 1.1, but I think that's a little bit drastic.
Please help me.
Sincerely Tired and Desperate MILF .
Dear Tired and Desperate MILF,
We sincerely apologize for your troubles. But kindly note that boyfriend 7.0 is just an Entertainment package, while Husband 2.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the following command:
i-thought-you-loved-me.HTML.
Then download: T.E.A.R.S. 7.0.
After that, install the G.U.I.L.T 3.0 update. This is very important.
If these three applications work as planned, Husband 1.0 should automatically upgrade to Husband 2.0. Kindly remember that overuse of the T.E.A.R.S 7.0 application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.0, Happy Hour 7.0 and Beer 5.1.
Please note that Beer 5.1 will trigger the download of the Snoring Loudly 10.1 (Beta Version) on default. Our research shows that you do not want that to happen. And whatever you do, do not under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 because it runs a virus in the background that will eventually take control of the entire system. In addition, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 7.0 program. These are unsupported applications that will crash Husband 1.0.
Husband 1.0 is a good program, but it does have limited memory and cannot integrate new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0, Foreplay Before Sex 4.0, and Not Calling From the Grocery Store Because He Forgot the Brand You Asked Him to Buy 2.0.
Good Luck,
Missy's Tech Support.
